I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
