I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
