He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
