marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
