I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sex in a hospital.. check
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
