What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
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