Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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