he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im holly from the hills drunk
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
