I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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