you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
