I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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