so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
