So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
