So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
