the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize