Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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