last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
