She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
