I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Say something about gay babies.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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