but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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