Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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