So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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