the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
