we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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