Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
