I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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