you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
