I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
