Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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