I want to stick my p in your. b.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
