And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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