He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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