Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize