This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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