I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
