I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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