I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize