so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
