Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
