just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
