maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
