3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
