Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize