dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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