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Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
