I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
