I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
