Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
