this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
