She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
