I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
