actually, I'm a sock model
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize