2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
