so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
