Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
