It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just high enough for therapy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
