I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize