I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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