were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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