come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
