So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
