That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
