he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
