Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
