Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
