you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize