i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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