He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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