Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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