no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize