is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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