so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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