would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
